I see something before me, and find my way from there

There are mountains in the great distance that I see. I start walking, making it a goal in which I hope to accomplish. I will be there, at those mountains, someday. The road there is simple, a great wide plain that spans for hundreds, maybe even thousands of miles. I anticipate a long journey, but I know I must make it to those peaks. Something over there is calling me, and I begin to make my way across the plains.

A sea of grass greets me, and I feel exuberant. What is it that excites me in this great, open land? Even I am not entirely sure. My walk is slow, and suddenly I am anxious. I feel an overwhelming desire to run, to get there quickly, to arrive at my destination: those distant mountains. I run, and run. The wind is blowing, shoving me forward as I go. I feel myself transforming. First I am a horse, galloping onwards. Then I am a wolf, bounding forth to that place. Somehow I become a mix of the two. I am bounding and galloping simultaneously, running, yearning for that great site before me.

The distance never seems to shorten, and I am forced to continue on. I am saddened, and am growing tired. I stop for a break, and look back. It is as if I have only taken one step towards my goal, and I am disheartened. What will I do? I transform once more, and I am an eagle, flapping my wings to and fro, headed towards those peaks in the sky. Behind me I hear a noise, and I drop down, a mix of horse and wolf once more. I turn back. A storm approaches, dark, black, and violent. I am afraid, and run, fleeing as fast as I can.

The mountains mean safety, they mean shelter. I flee for my life as the storm behind me grows in power. I can hear its rumbling; it yearns to tear my flesh. The winds pick up and start moving in several directions. Head down, I push forward, fleeing the storm behind me, going forth for the shelter before me.

Lightning crashes nearby, but I don’t stop, fear clinging to me far more easily than my initial excitement. Now I feel only fear, and I think myself a coward as I shoot forth. The distance seems to become greater than it was before, and I am still tired. My body becomes heavy, and I am losing speed. I charge forward still, refusing to give in, but my body becomes heavier still, and behind me, the storm is gaining.

I collapse suddenly, unable to move. I attempt to crawl forward, but my body is not strong enough. I try to transform into a bird again, but instead I turn back to my original form. I slowly inch forward, tears now spilling from my eyes. The mountain is a distant blur in my vision, but still I strive for it. I continue forward, my hands becoming bloody and ruined. I need shelter, but there is nothing nearby but the grass that roils in the wind.

I cry out, and lightning streaks before my eyes. It crashes feet from my outstretched hand, and I am more afraid than ever. A man appears before me from where the lightning struck, and approaches. I still fear, and attempt to pull back. He comes closer, but I cannot see him. In my eyes he is too bright, too brilliant to allow me to see. My eyes are no longer capable of producing tears, and I close my eyes to avoid the blaring light.

A hand rests on my cheek, and my eyes shoot open, blinking in the brilliance of the light. I see nothing, but my body fills with relief and energy. I close my eyes once more, and drink in the feeling of rest as it flows into my body. There is another flash of lightning, and I open my eyes. I am alone, upon the ground. Suddenly the distant mountain is only a few feet before me, and the storm far behind.

Slowly I rise up, and look up to the peaks of the mountains. Then I look back across the plain. What had once looked like hundreds and thousands of miles long was now only a few feet away. I turn back to the mountain. It is less appealing to me now that I have reached it, and I find myself disappointed.

I turn my back on the mountain, and return the way I came. The distance was short, but I found relief and comfort. As I returned to where I’d come from, I found peace and security, shelter and happiness. I glanced back at the mountain, but it had gone. I was alone, but in a state of comfort. The storm clouds appeared once more, but I did not flee from it this time. As rain came down gently, my face rose to the sky, and I cried out, not in anger or sadness, but in pure admiration and exuberance.

 

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~ by helixredeemer on March 25, 2011.

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