Once upon a time…things were going good and bad

It feels like forever since I’ve posted anything decent, but in reality it has only been a few days. While I am continually trying to update this, I find I still struggle with writing what I want. Or rather, I struggle with what I want to write about.

What can I say? I am a college student who knows exactly where she wants to go in life. Whether or not God has the same goals for me remains to be seen. I love to read, write, watch hockey, ice skate, watch Power Rangers, and spontaneously make jewelry. I would much prefer to live in my fantasy world than reality at times because I am in complete control there.

I have plans that I am trying to set into motion to go to Florida for an anime convention in which two of my most favorite Power Rangers actors are attending. While I am a legal adult, my parents struggle with that concept, especially since I am not really the daughter that would go out on a trip on her own like this. I am the good daughter, the one who goes to college straight out of high school, who is a homebody and hates to do too many outgoing things, though I can handle doing new things every once in a while. I am the daughter who struggles the most with stress, who gets sick without fail on the first day of school, not because I am nervous, but because I am already so stressed out. I am the one who collects and reads books as if my life depends on it; let’s face it, at this point, my life does depend on books.

I am the daughter who quit her softball team because of stress, because my father was the coach, who quit the year we almost made champions, but didn’t, and came in second place because I was not allowed to pitch that game and our backup pitcher was nowhere near my skill level. I am the daughter that got hit hard, and betrayed, who fell into darkness, and here, 9 years later, am only just beginning to crawl out of the pit.

I am the daughter who struggles with things I know I need to do, and the things I want to do. I am the daughter who would much prefer to see her parents divorced than to hear them constantly fight. I am the daughter that didn’t join the Army, and instead am struggling to come up with money for school. I am the daughter who can hold her alcohol, despite only three years ago being the first time I ever drank a shot (though it was actually 2 double shots) of tequila like it was nothing while the other daughters got hammered.

I am the daughter who is writing this. I am me, Snape_Redeemed, whose life has been filled with so many ups and downs that I now refuse to go on roller coasters that flip or go upside down. I am the non-outgoing daughter who wants to do something spontaneous and crazy. I am the daughter who is the baby of the family and learns from the mistakes of others. I am observant, a listener, and while I am ruled a lot by hatred and anger, I am at least working to change that.

There are parts of my life, as much detail as I will ever get into. Snape_Redeemed out.

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~ by HelixRook on April 14, 2011.

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