As each day comes to a close…

I don’t feel accomplished. Each day keeps passing me by and I can’t seem to figure out what I am supposed to do. I have little to no motivation or inspiration to write, to do what I am most passionate about.

I have my continuation of fantasies playing out in my head, scenarios that will likely never actually happen. There’s no inspiration, no excitement, no passion right now. I feel almost nothing original coming to me. I feel like taking others’ ideas, and developing them further, not using my own ideas and going with them. It’s nothing short of frustrating, and I don’t know what I am supposed to do. My days are filled with nothing but spending time at my computer and watching tv and movies. There’s nothing around here that keeps me going, nothing that just grabs hold of me and pulls me into an exciting place that I want to be at. Therein lies the issues with the fantasies. Because they keep taking more and more control as reality becomes more and more hard to handle.

I need to find myself, to find where I want to be. I thought I knew, that I had some idea, but as each moment passes, I am forced to question whether or not that is where I want to be. Where I want to be is somewhere not in this constant jail. I feel trapped here, isolated. There doesn’t seem to be anything worth while around here. I need to be somewhere new, somewhere different from my comfort zone. I can’t be here anymore. What the hell am I supposed to do?


As each day comes to a close, I am left with the question of whether or not it’s all worth it… Some days it is and others it’s not. But then I just happen to pop in a certain DVD, and the lovely sounds of Rooster Teeth’s Red vs. Blue series makes my day at least a little bit brighter. Who knows, maybe I’m just in a funk. Maybe I’m needing something exciting to come my way. Who knows? Maybe I just need to get the hell out of Arizona. Lord knows this place is full of shit.


~ by HelixRook on June 4, 2011.

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